


Good at Goodbyes

by I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own



Series: Barduil [14]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: ... is Oropher considered a main character?, Big short, deaths of non canon and canon characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 12:04:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12747954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own/pseuds/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own
Summary: In which the Ice King is distant, and Love falls by the wayside.





	Good at Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Big Short, Prompt 'Survival'. 
> 
> This is the 'unhappy' version of this fic, there will (maybe) be a happy version.

* * *

****_I'm never gonna let you close to me,  
_**_Even though you mean the most to me,_**  
**_'Cause every time I open up, it hurts._**  
**_So I'm never gonna get too close to you,_**  
****_Even when I mean the most to you,_  
_In case you go and leave me in the dirt._  
_~Good at Goodbyes, Sam Smith_

* * *

He watches Bard, when Bard isn’t watching him, and in his mind, he reiterates his excuses, he rebuilds his walls, he freezes his heart, he stiffens his upper lip. He raises his shields and has his excuses ready on the tip of his tongue because he knows how these things go when he doesn’t. He knows how these things go when he ignores his instincts, brings down his walls, and melts his heart.

_“Nana? Nana?” his little hands scrabble at her tunic, shaking her and clawing her in turn. “Nana, wake up.”_

_“Thran, thank Eru, there you are. Come here.”_

_“Calenlas, she won’t wake up. Calenlas, nana won’t wake up.”_

_“I know, I know but we have to go now, little brother. We have to go. You have to say goodbye.”_

_“But Nana-“_

_“Now, Thranduil!”_

_“G-g-goodbye, na-n-na.” he stutters, his breath catching as he’s overwhelmed by sobs. He’s scooped up into strong, warm arms and he lets them take him away. “Goodbye, Nana.” He sobs, burying his face in his brother’s chest._

* * *

__**I know you're thinking I'm heartless.**  
**I know you're thinking I'm cold.**  
**I'm just protecting my innocence.**  
**I'm just protecting my soul.**  
_~Good at Goodbyes, Sam Smith_

* * *

Bard tries to get closer, but he won’t have any of it, distancing himself as much as he possibly can without being rude about it. He gives a bitter little smile when he overhears Legolas and Bard talking, Legolas waving Bard’s concerns away.

_“Ada is always distant, Bard. He always has been. Nana was the only one who could ever really get through to him, and she’s gone. Don’t take offence to it.” Legolas says, shrugging his shoulders, as if he’s not bothered by it, when Thranduil has always known it bothers him, more than most things._

_“When did he become so cold?”_

_“No one can agree. But some say when the dwarves killed his mother in Doriath.”_

_“Doriath?”_

_“I’ll tell you about it later. Evening, ada!”_

_“Good evening, ion nin.”_

* * *

__**I'm way too good at goodbyes.  
No way that you'll see me cry.**  
_~Good at Goodbye, Sam Smith_

* * *

He talks to their portraits, hoping they’ll have some wisdom for him, but they never do. Of course, they never do, they’re just paint on a canvas, and they can never talk back. Not to him, never to him. All he has of them are his memories, and even they are never a help.

_“Calenlas! Calenlas, no, please. I can’t do this on my own. Please. Just wake up!!” drenched in the blood of his friends and his foes, his normally steady hands tremble as they reach out to touch the still form of his brother. “Wake up!”_

_“My prince, we must leave.”_

_“No.”_

_“My prince… Thranduil. We need to leave.”_

_“I’m not going.”_

_“I have orders to drag you back to the palace kicking and screaming if I have to. Please don’t make me do that.”_

_“My brother is dead, Galion.”_

_“I know.”_

_“He’s dead.”_

_“I know.”_

_“He’s dead.”_

_“I know.”_

_“He’s dead.” He breathes, and allows the steady hands to pull him up and away, his entire body shaking, trembling, threatening to shatter into a thousand pieces. “He’s dead.”_

_“I know.”_

* * *

**_You must think that I'm stupid._**  
**_You must think that I'm a fool._**  
_~Good at Goodbyes, Sam Smith_

* * *

Once there were four. One was lost in the terror and bloodshed that was Doriath. Another was lost to the horrors of Southern Mirkwood. And then there were only two. But even that could not, would not last forever.

_“Ada, Ada, no. No, no, no. Please, please not you, too. I can’t… I can’t do this on my own. Ada, please, please come back. Please come back.” His entire body shakes, quivers, trembles like it’s going to burst at the seams. The still body beneath him a stark contrast. His shaky hands clasp the still and cool face, and he bows his head, crying softly. “Ada, please.”_

_“My King, we must go.”_

_“No.” he answers, the word almost swallowed by his sobs._

_“My King…”_

_“I can’t leave him. I can’t leave him.”_

_“He’s already gone, my King. He would not thank you for staying, for risking yourself like this.”_

_“He is your king!”_

_“ **You** are my king. Please don’t make me lose two kings today.” _

_“Fine. Pull everyone back. Galion, pull them back!” He orders, and waits until Galion has left to sound the retreat, before he presses a kiss to his father’s forehead. “Goodbye, Ada. Find Nana. Find Calenlas. Find peace.”_

* * *

**_You must think that I'm new to this,_**  
**_But I have seen this all before._**  
_~Good at Goodbyes, Sam Smith_

* * *

His wife was as radiant as the sun, as beautiful as the stars, as precious as the moonlight. He loved her with everything he could spare his heart to give. And when their son was born, he didn’t love her any less, he just allocated a little room for the perfect little bundle. Now they were three. But even this could not stand forever.

_“Meleth, meleth, no. You promised, you promised me forever.” His eyes are already blurred with his tears, he can barely see her through his tears, through the blood coating his face._

_“We were foolish to promise what we could not guarantee.” Her voice is but a whisper on the wind, as if that’s all she has left to give. As if she has already passed over and given her voice to the wind, like the legends of her people._

_“We said forever.” Thranduil repeats, his chest aching, his heart feeling like it’s going to burst. “’For this day, and all days hence, I shall remain in this forest, never seeking the sea no what lies beyond. When all other elves may pass west, I shall remain, not alone, for I shall have you. Gleweril, my sunlight, you shall walk at my side, forever.’” He recites, crying through their marriage vows, said all those years ago._

_“For this day, and all days hence, I shall remain in this forest, never seeking the sea nor what lies beyond. When all other elves may pass west, I shall remain, not alone, for I shall have you. Thranduil, my spring, you shall walk at my side, forever.” Gleweril whispers, before closing her eyes and breathing her last._

_“Gleweril!”_

* * *

__**So I'm never gonna get too close to you,  
Even when I mean the most to you,**   
_**In case you go and leave me in the dirt.** _  
_~Good at Goodbyes, Sam Smith_

* * *

 

Bard never had a chance, not when faced with centuries of stubbornness.

They remain distant friends, nothing more.

* * *

**_'Cause every time you hurt me, the less that I cry,_**  
**_And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry._**  
**_And every time you walk out, the less I love you._**  
**_Baby, we don't stand a chance, it's sad but it's true._**  
**_I'm way too good at goodbyes._**  
_~Good at Goodbyes, Sam Smith_


End file.
